It's been 5 years!!!

Every year that passes I still am in disbelief that this sweet boy came out of my body into the arms of love. My kids still remember baby Finn and how Sam's tummy was broken and Mommy helped by using her tummy. A day after my birthday is his ♡ 

 

(My nephew and I) 

(Watching fireworks)

The innocence of children speaks volumes and the acceptance and love that they have for one another. They don't look at the little pieces that adults do. Some people think it's a wonderful beautiful thing and others have so much judgment it actually hurts the ones that they love instead of loving. Accepting! 

The family and I still keep in contact. Life gets busy but it is a blessing and a comfort having someone Hold Your Hand throughout your life knowing the things that you went through together. Having that bond with somebody over something so precious is really a gift. I'm very lucky that I was able to experience this journey without having a negative effect. And it is because I put the time into it and so did the family.

I have had people ask me about surrogacy .. and if I would do it again and under a special circumstance I can say I would. I have had people ask for themselves to do it and I come to realize that information is very Gray. People don't really understand everything that happens or they just assumed. But in some situations it is a good fit for an individual to do this as well as families to go forward as IP. ( intended parents). 

With that said I am so happy and blessed that I still get to watch him grow up. His family is still making fingerprints on my life and being there for one another just checking in is a blessing in itself. Grandma sent me a video on my birthday. This made me so happy. 

So now today is his birthday. 5 years ago a little boy was born into a world of love. He has a special place in my life and in my heart that will never change. He is the change I wanted to see in the world. He is the giving of selflessness that I wanted to see in this world. And with that I made the decision to be that change. It's one of the very few things I can stand by without a doubt knowing that I would never change it because it is completely good. 

 If you believe in something enough and work at it anything is possible. 

Happy birthday Finnegan

Love you 

better late then never

Well the wedding was phenomenal everything I expected and then some. Sam was always very particular on how she wanted her wedding what fit right and what would be tasteful.. the ceremony was short and sweet and the reception was beautiful. I got to dance with Finnegan and the girls. It just amazes me how big they have gotten and how fast time goes. I look at him and it almost doesn't seem real that I gave birth to him. It was magical watching his family friends everybody just love him and the girls to pieces. I was just a stepping stone to building their family. That was it that was my purpose even after all this time I still love each and every one of them. Its just a different type of love than anybody could ever describe. Still very thankful that they left the door open to be a part of his life and watch him grow up. Something I always knew I needed.  just that Little bit of closure seeing it. I love watching Sam be a mother and Jack being a father. It's an example of being able to witness love over and over again and the good in this world.  Here's a FEWFEW
pictures I took at the wedding ♡

Congratulations jack and sam xo

bells are ringing. ..

Today's the day sam and Jack are getting married.  Bags are packed we are heading to fargo. .. 💚  I can't wait to post an update.

Happy Birthday

I cant believe its already August. I missed the update on Finn's Birthday party its been so busy around here.

Well June- We had Thomas 6th Birthday and spider man came to our house. (daddy) Little Ms Olivia knew within a few min that it was daddy but we played it off that it wasn't and we still say it WAS NOT DADDY! Thomas had friends come over and we had a great time! He got a lot of LEGO's and Spider Man stuff. Clothes where my Favorite.. less to buy for school he he he. UGH school. Thats right around the corner and my baby is going to .. dun dun dun KINDERGARTEN!
                                                                               

                                                                                                                                                          Finn's birthday party was in June as well. We drove to Grandma B's house and was able to stay a lot later then expected with the kids. It was so nice to sit and relax with his family. We talked about how fast this last year went and how big he is getting. Lauren was attached to me as usual ( oh i love those girls) and Jada was her lovely stubborn self hehe (I stole a hug). Very big helpers with keeping my kids entertained and helping with their little brother.                                                                                                                                                            Some people asked if its hard at all now? My answer still is "no". His family is amazing. Sam and I "GET" each other. I'm involved as much as I can be with both our busy lives and then some. I'm not his mom. I am Amanda surrogate mommy that loves him to pieces and then some but I do not have that motherly need to be close. Its a gift to be able to be apart of his life still and watch him grow up. I honestly don't see how anyone would want it any other way. That's what makes surrogacy so unique. Everyone is different and everyone wants different..                                                                          Sam is coming down once I go into labor and is going to photograph Lillian's birth. She's taking another step with me in life. Something so important, I cant picture anyone else being there capturing it. She did my maternity  pictures and that was a bit different not being pregnant with Finn but with Lillian. It didn't seem real. Times gone by so fast.

The car we got him

I cant wait for Sam to come down and take pictures and she can get the Finnegan book we got him too. <3                                                                                                                                                                     It sure was a busy June, July and now August. Between Graduation Parties, My Birthday, birthday parties, Local festivities (parades, art in the park), fitting in Photo Sessions ( Ive been doing Photography on the side), Picking up shifts at the nursing home, doing day care, the kids and now Lillian's due date is less then a week away I feel like summer is just zippy by. Before we all know it its going to be WINTER. (vomit)

Stepping outside

I started up another blog to wright about life outside of surrogacy. http://amandadahmeslifeslittlemoments.blogspot.com/2014/04/the-first-of-many.html

25 weeks 15 or so more to go

We went to the park the other day and we took a few pictures. Nothing too extravagant just some for fun.                                         

He wants a brother not a sister (it was bright out)

24 1/2 weeks

 So far everything with this pregnancy is going well. Had a little fall last week after our ice storm but the only thing that got hurt really was my arm and my pride lol. Went and had a check up with an ultrasound just to be sure and Lillian is growing perfectly. Still some fluid in her kidneys but not to where we are majorly concerned. It usually clears up right before birth or shortly after. We are just watching it.My cervix is a little soft but still closed.
Weight: Ive gained a total of about 13 lbs (giver take the day lol). Which is great! I didn't gain anything for Finn. He sucked it out of me..
Health/Movement: She is moving like crazy. I can see her now on the outside of my belly. Especially after some ice-cream. Im doing really well. Hardly any heart burn. A little contraction here and there but nothing concerning. Normal stuff Im just sensitive to feeling them when others usually dont. My nerve has been a pain more so at night. so the heating pad is my friend.

Sam text me the other day with Finn's Birthday party info. HOLY ONE YEAR!!! Nope cant happen. She needs to talk to that boy about growing up so fast. =P
Im already brainstorming birthday gifts. I am planning on another Finn book (a book with his name in it with a note inside) and a gift for fun. I have a pretty good idea what its going to be. Oh Im Giddy just thinking about it.

Here's little man and Mommy, 2 weeks shy of being 10 MONTHS OLD! I cant even describe the words that pictures like these make me feel. When days are hard or something gets me down I look at my kids and what happened with our Journey and it reminds me whats important.

Mothers day is coming up here next month. That's when we went to the cities and had a 4D ultrasound of Finn..

Remember to love up your mothers and pray for those who struggle with trying for a child. Its something so many take for granted.

20 weeks no wait 21... ummm

Ask of our ultrasounds and my last menstral cycle says that I'm due August 10th.I had one ultrasound in the beginning with the twins that showed a later due date so ultimately we are not sure when this little girl is going to be here. She's measuring 21 weeks and is super super active... and I'm feeling great!