Saturday, June 29, 2013

39 weeks and still cooking

How far along: 
 39 weeks

Total weight gain:
Well my weight went up 3lbs then now back down again. its stayed the same for the last 2 weeks. I feel less hungry for bigger meals again. A lot of snacking and cold drinks.

Maternity clothes:
Oh yes. I broke out my shorts and excited that my gym shorts are lose enough that I can wear them now. We have been measuring 35 weeks the last 3 weeks and our OBGYN says that's normal at the end. Its scary for me because with losing fluid with Thomas and having to be induced this was the first indicator. I'm praying for my nerves to settle down about it and trust fully. I'm constantly feeling him and poking him even when his kicks hurt. I'm overly sensitive to every move he makes. The NEED to make sure he stays safe is very important even if I go crazy in the process *smiles* 

Stretch marks: 
Nothing new. My old ones have come out some and become noticeable. Before you could hardly see them.
Sleeping has been harder lately. I wake up a lot more to go to the bathroom. I don't remember this with my two but I'm sure its the same. He's pushing a lot lower the last 2 weeks. We are still a 2 as of last Tuesday and 70%. He moves his head and I get a lot of pressure and some sharp pains in my hips and pelvis. Which makes it harder to sleep as well.

Best moment of this week:
I'm not sure if I can say I've had a "best" moment this week other then our dr appointment and having coffee with the photographer who's going to be in the room
. But the week before Sam Jack and the girls came down for the day so we could make a belly cast and the kids could play. We went to the state park and went on a little walk but nothing too exciting happened obviously haha. Sam took some more pictures and still working on fishing them with her last weddings before her leave now as of last Saturday..
This last week tho I got into a debate with the Dr over inducing. She's really pushing for it and I don't see the need. He is safe and even tho I am not feeling the greatest at times this is all apart of the process. Labor begins before IN LABOR. My labor and delivery was so horrible with Thomas (being induced) that avoiding it is the only way I can be sure that it wont be so terrible. 36 hours compared to 9.5 with my daughter that came on her own. I was a 2 for both my kids for weeks so even tho we are a 2 it really doesn't make a difference in showing how fast I would go. More complications can arise not only for me but for this little guy. C sections, bleeding issues (like with my son) and a lot more pain meds...  So I felt a little guilty being so "not unless we need to for medical reasons" but the guilt doesn't even come close to the need to keep us safe. Going with my gut feeling and past experience and being told I bled so bad because of the induction I'm standing my mommy guns. And I believe that Sam and Jack trust me to know my body and to keep their little one safe. I've done it this long *smiles*
But in all, I've been feeling pretty good the last 2 weeks. More heart burn but less contractions for the most part. They will pick up here and there for a short time but it never lasts longer then 30 min to an hour. I'm spending a lot of time the last week talking with baby Kelly and savoring his movements. This may be the last time I'm ever pregnant.

Miss anything:
Missing my mom and papa a lot the last couple weeks. My birthday is in 5 days and they both arnt here. I've been playing birthday videos I have of them singing to me the last years they where here a lot too (gives me some peace reminding me the love we all had together).
I haven't been talking to many people the last 2 weeks or so and if I have its been brief.
(I'm not ignoring anyone on purpose) Its just a time for me to work through the next few weeks. Baby Kelly, My birthday, My papas birthday is the 17th (would of been 66), Zoo trip this year without him (we did it every year). and a bunch of other things that's been going on that's been hard. Life's short.. in moments your whole world and life can change. Make the most of it.

He's moving less when it comes to constant kicks and pushes (I can feel his lungs move constantly tho) but larger kicks all together. I keep wondering how in the world he can still fit in there. His Body moves and my whole belly and sides move. I cant wait to see how big he's going to be. I think he's going to be really long/ have really long legs.

Food cravings:
 Ice water, banana chips, peaches, DQ

Anything making you queasy or sick:
Comes and goes but his movements have been making me feel sick. Also anything spicy will make me feel like puking after I eat it.

Labor signs:
It comes and goes. Last week I started having contractions timed and lasting 5 min at a time for over an hour then tapered off. I'm thinking I was a bit dehydrated and that's what did it because after spending the night sipping water and throwing up I started feeling better the next day. Pressure and pinching pain comes and goes with back pain. So I can tell he's moving down and getting ready but nothing that I would say he will be here tomorrow.
Belly button in or out: In

Wedding rings on or off:

Happy or moody most of the time:
sensitive, emotional, lovey, cuddly, motherly

Looking forward to:
seeing baby!!! *hopefully*

Some pictures I took at the park messing around on my evening walk. I love phone timers....


At the Beach with my little Olivia

39 weeks

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

counting the days

Had our Appointment today and we are still a 2cm dialated and 60% effaced. Baby is doing great 130s for his heart beat.

The hernia the thought I   had is actually a cyst. We will be looking at it more with time and after baby's born.

We stop meds Saturday night. It will be interesting to see how long it takes for my body to go into labor. From here on out prayers for baby and I to stay safe and healthy are needed. Thank you everyone for all your positive words and support.

Monday, June 10, 2013

36 weeks

One more week and we can have a water birth if we want. I found out last week I have a small hernia where my belly button is .. so a little bump (which is very sensitive). Its getting more sensitive so hopefully it doesn't get worse and fixes itself after baby's born so I won't need surgery. Blah

Contractions have picked up some around the time I take my meds and they ware off so we might be upping the meds until Sunday. (when I stop all meds and restrictions)

I'm feeling more energized like that nesting feeling.I wasn't sure if I would feel this way since its not my baby and it was kinda in a mothers mind to get ready for her baby. Now I'm sure its more hormonal then mental. I keep wondering what he will look like... and how I can't wait to get my time to squeeze him after mommy and daddy. Here's baby at  36weeks

Thursday, June 6, 2013

When will you come little man?

       We had our appointment on Wednesday and I'm dilated to a 2. Before I was barley a 1. So this little guys slowly making his way here. I've noticed some changes the last week or so but nothing to make me think its going to be here SOON.. but I can say Ill be surprised if he comes over his due date. I'm really excited about this.. but at the same time sad.

      This Journey has been a long and emotional one.. but it also has gone by very fast. There where so many things I wanted to do with Sam and Jack to help them bond but I'm not worried as I was in the beginning, living away from each other. There are so many people out there that adopt their child and never meet them until after they are born and sometimes years after and have a bond like no other. I think it was more for me. Some for baby yes, but I needed that bond with them to walk strong and not feel like I have to bond with Baby. I was afraid if I made too strong of a bond it would be hard to let go after he's born. To look at him and wonder if I was really done having children or if this was a piece of what I wanted in years to come. I really cant say for sure If I want more children.. a part of me says yes but I think that's all mothers to some extent. The BOND I have with him is different. Yes, I can say I did bond with him. We talked We poked each other. I cried for him and wanted him for them. I count down the days like I did my own.. but to see the love I have for my kids in their eyes. Its a bond that's far different then my own kids but its a bond of love. I read some surrogates blogs and they go through this like its nothing. Just another day.. just some "job".
(it seems) For me this was so much more. I cant say it was more emotional or that I got attached more so then others, I think its the story that started before us. The story of my own struggles and so on. Every piece of my life added together is making a great picture. Slowly I am letting go and letting God ... It's scary to let so much go.. but I'm doing it one day at a time..

Olivia's a bit attached to me being pregnant. She likes talking to the baby and kissing him. Makes me a little worried how she will handle not having a baby to come home with..

This little boy is very special to my family.. Its hard for me to even put it into words at this point how I feel but I'm sure more answers will come with time.

Now I can say I'm really starting to get things together for him to come. My bag is packed for the most part. I have day care lined up for during the day and my mother in law said if she can come she will be here. Otherwise my dad and sister will help too. At least overnight. What's so different this time is I wont have to stay in the hospital as long, as long as there is no complications. Ill just be going up for pumping and giving breast milk. Working on building a supply for them to go home with and after. I'm nervous about breastfeeding (pumping) this time. As of now I'm not sure if he will latch to me at all and if we will do just pumping right off the bat. With my kids I didn't respond well to pumping until after my breast milk came in. I had plenty of breast milk that's for sure... just getting the let downs. We will see, it will be a hospital grade pump there and I heard they are amazing. And I'm picking up mine after he's born.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

34 and 35 weeks

How far along: Currently I'm 35 weeks and 2 days but I'm going to cover both 34 and 35 weeks since nothings really changed between the two until recently.

Total weight gain: Scales between the two Dr's we have been seeing is about 3-4 lbs but at home I've gained the same 3 lbs as before. Depending on when I weigh myself some days I get 4... WOOHOO!

34 Weeks

before pregnant and on IVF meds (weight gain)- weight loss from pregnancy now

35 weeks

Maternity clothes: Yes,  a few of the shirts that fit me before are now pretty snug so I wear them as an under shirt only. I'm hoping the tank tops I got still look good after the baby's born because I absolutely love them. Maternity or not I don't care.

Stretch marks: Well, some of the stretch marks that I got with my two kids are starting to show up alittle. No new ones.

Sleep: I'm still in that rut of not being able to fall a sleep at night, so its usually late by the time I go to bed. The kids get up at the same time regardless so I still search for a nap in the afternoon. More potty runs I've noticed.

Best moment of this week: Last week Sam came up and we where able to have an ultrasound. I noticed Last Wednesday afternoon he wasn't moving much. Not too worried I figured he was just sleeping. Got a few kicks throughout the night but less then normal. Still nothing too concerning. By Thursday morning when Sam came down he was still not moving like he was before. Starting to get paranoid I had some coffee... still nothing. Poke poke wake up little man * little kicks and wiggles* so I took 2 drinks of Nicks energy drink and some chocolate milk got ready then headed off to the clinic for out appointment.  Still not having much of any movement I talked to our Dr. about him but She had to rush off to a delivery and there wasn't any other dr's in, so we got to have an ultrasound and hooked up to monitors for about 20 min before.His HB was good. Had a few contractions which is normal but nothing regular...  Ultrasound looked good. fluid was good... So reassured I went home and Sam went back to Fargo. It wasn't until later that night that he started moving again like before. We don't know why he went on so long without much movement but now he's moving like crazy. More so then ever before. Little turd monkey. So with the best moments the last 2 weeks I would say we got to see him again, but we wish it wasn't while we where worried about him and getting grey hairs. We go back for another ultrasound around 37 weeks.
Miss anything: We had one day of sun the last 2 weeks.. I miss it.
Everything else is going great. Little mans growing and our due date is getting closer and closer!!

Movement: Tons of movement.. =D

Food cravings: Raspberry/Butter Toast, Ice water, Golden Grahams Cereal, Simply Asia meals, pickled beets.

Anything making you queasy or sick:  Oddly enough I've been having random sick feelings like Im about to puke then it goes away. I'm starting to feel my body change like it did with Olivia.

Have you started to show yet: Silly question

Gender: Boy!!

Labor signs: Contractions are still the same besides the last day or so. Little more frequent off and on but nothing worrisome. He's Lower that's for sure and I feel like he's dropped in the last 2 weeks. everyone says it too. Still on our meds for contractions Heart burn and Tylenol with Codeine for pain when needed (bulged disk and contractions). Also a few weeks back our (FFN) test came back positive but nothings happened. Obviously we where on edge with the worry we would go into labor but that hasn't shown to be the case. With restrictions and meds little man is staying put and we don't expect to see him anytime soon. So those who have a positive I would say to stay calm and just be aware of your body. I feel its more of a warning it COULD happen then a for sure test.

Belly button in or out: In but super tight

Wedding rings on or off: On

Happy or moody most of the time: I'm usually happy. Still emotional over sappy commercials and movies.. but that's to be expected haha.

Looking forward to: Our Dr appointment tomorrow and seeing Sam. I think a trip to Fargo is in order ... we will see what happens this weekend.