Tuesday, April 30, 2013

30 weeks and so much more

How far along: 30 weeks.. I cant believe it. Went to Fargo for the baby shower and we got to take some pictures together. It was nice to just spend some time without all the distractions of the world and our daily lives. Just to be able to have Sam feel him when ever she wanted was perfect. I can sit here and try to describe how it made me feel but its pretty much impossible. One word I think can sum it up... LOVE!

We went to this smoothie shop that has these jelly things in them. It was so good. Baby Really liked it as well. I put the smoothie cup on my belly and we watched it move. I'm sure people there thought we where lesbians the way Sam was rubbing my belly.We just giggled about it to be honest. =)

Total weight gain:
I believe Ive only gained 3lbs so far. Ive been eating alot more lately. I'm not sure if I just feel really hungry all the time or if its my head telling me that if I eat more drink more water that it will help him stay in there longer and get nice and chunky. Maybe its a little of both. He likes it when I eat anything sweet. He gets alot more active. Ice cream is the recent Fav! And not just ice cream.. ice cream cones!! I had 2 the other night... shhhhh

Maternity clothes:
Some of the clothes I thought fit funny on me are starting to fit nicely. Ive used the belly band to my advantage to use my regular pants and so far I haven't really had to wear maternity pants. Which I really dislike anyways. They constantly move and I have to adjust the top part. But I really feel like I have popped out the last week or so. Sam said she thinks so too.

Stretch marks:
Nothings changed there.

 I seem to sleep sound lately. Even with potty breaks its just getting to sleep that's the challenge. I find myself super exhausted throughout the day but as the day comes to an end and the kids are asleep that's when i find it hard to wined down myself. All the things I couldn't get done right away or by myself I want to get done. I think its because I can do it and take my time. I do some stuff around the house and then rest for a while. No multitasking for this girl. And for me that's torture. I am one to do 3 things at once...

Best moment of this week:
 I would have to say that the best moment(s) of this week was the baby shower in Fargo.
Nick and the kids went to his parents house to help out grandma and grandpa and play while I went to Fargo to spend time with the Kelly family (smiles.. )
The baby shower was alot of fun. It was nice seeing and meeting people in Sam and Jacks lives that love them and this baby. For being a Surrogate Its a touch of love that started us.

I cant believe that its coming up to a YEAR that we started this journey together. That we got linked to one another from a mutual friend and met for lunch.

Jacks daughters are a huge "bonus" for me as well. At first I could tell that they where slow at introducing me to them. And I understood why. If none of the transfers took how to explain to a child death.. loss. They have already suffered so much along with Sam-a-mommy and their dad Jack. Why put them through more? The loss of the first transfer and the twin.. its was crushing.
(jeese makes me cry even now thinking about back then). Those girls have really grown on me. And for those who know me know its easy for kids to fall on my heart heavy but its different. The love and acceptance I see in their faces and the touches on my belly. The love THEY have for their brother even before hes here. And I'm not their mom.. its different its special. Its a gift that's been given TO ME!
Yes, I hear people making comments about how wonderful  I am for doing this... thank you.. But people need to also see how wonderful they are. They are giving me something that I can look back on my life and say.. I gave something bigger then myself. I gave a family that was broken a piece that made them ALMOST whole again. Almost because after everything they have went through they cant ever get that back but the can pick up the piece's and move on from there. With this little guy and eachother...

Later after the shower and our smoothie picture run we went back to Sam and Jacks. Sam got to feel her baby boy kick and squirm around and I got to pick on Jack. ( hes not quiet there yet with feeling okay with touching my tummy. We will get him there *wink*). I felt myself stalling before I left for home. Wanting Sam to feel one more kick. The excitement she gets is what I had with my kids so knowing that feeling I know that you just cant get enough!! I was going to stay the night but with my kids at home and a bunch of stuff we had to do in the morning I had to get home. And with my sleep being off it being late didn't effect it anyways.

 This little man has been moving like crazy. They say that weeks 30-34 when they move its alot more intense. Then after 34 weeks it usually slows down with having less room to move. So Ill be making alot of videos the next 4/5 weeks.

Food cravings:
Raspberry/Butter Toast, Ice Cream Cones, Root Beer, Strawberry's..

Anything making you queasy or sick:
 Nothing really, Ive felt pretty good on the food standpoint. I'm always hungry

Have you started to show yet:
I feel like Ive popped out alot!


Labor signs:
With this pregnancy being so eventful we are doing everything to make sure him and I stay healthy and he stays put. And so far so good.

I'm making sure to fallow Dr's orders and take it easy... Still having contractions but it seems my heart palpitations haven't been as frequent. So that's a big plus.And with the meds it helps the contractions.. I'm still 1cm soft but firm and long. So we are still cruising cooking this little guy. We go back at 34 weeks for an ECHO and an EKG/heart monitor to double check everything before we deliver.

Belly button in or out:

Wedding rings on or off:
On, and getting looser

Happy or moody most of the time:
Still emotional. My poor husband has been through my ups and downs more so then anyone else during all of this. He truly is amazing. Without his support I don't think I could of done a second transfer. Knowing the pain that could of fallowed. It is so true that a support system is important when deciding to do this. He says that I would of done it regardless because I was so head strong on helping a family but honestly.. it wouldn't of given it a thought without him. Because with him I was made a mother...

Looking forward to:
Seeing Sam next week. I'm hoping I can talk her into a sleep over again *wink*

Here are some pictures of our day together...

Sam's friend and I. Our due dates are a day apart.
 Shes having a girl so they are arranging a marriage haha

  I love these 2 munchkins
What an awesome gift.. he better get used to his picture taken now
Some of the gifts..

One of my fav's. This picture says it all...



(Sam and I feeling him Kick later that night)
I have a feeling the next 10 weeks are going to go by fast. I think its time to start packing the hospital bag and making a list of things not to forget haha.. baby brain and all.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Thing's that come together

Today was one long busy exciting day. Got up earlie to head to the Cities for our 4D ultrasound with Sam Jack and the girls. We got to our appointment at 11 and already I was ready for a nap but all the excitement kept me going. We didn't get a picture of the room but here are some pictures from the ultrasound. We have ALOT more but I picked out a few of my favorites.

He kept rubbing his face and nose.

Sam also got a DVD so check out her blog to see that in the next few days.
It was amazing to see him up on the screen and feel all the movements at the same time. To actually see his cute little face and expressions with the movements.. no words.

Sam laid next to me with the girls while Jack and Nick relaxed on the comfy couches. Of course Picking and teasing the whole time. (I smile just thinking about it)
After we grabbed some lunch at Fridays and Jacks youngest felt up my tummy and was my buddy the whole time. His oldest trys to play off she doesn't want to touch the belly but constantly picks fun and jokes around. I loved it. She found out I'm pretty silly myself. She kept getting close to my face on the side and make goofy faces and noises.. until I turned my head and licked her nose unexpectedly. The look on her face was priceless. I wish I could of got it on camera..
*L* feeling her brother kick
*J* and *L* feeling their brother.
yes BOTH of them hehe 


                                                                   Sam and I *Heart*

Relaxing by the pool as the kids (Nick Jack and the 2 girls) Played in the arcade
Here's a fantastic picture of Jack. *L* was playing with the Doppler and had to listen to daddy's tummy. He puffed out his belly so it looked like he was pregnant. Goof!
I wish we could of gotten more pictures together ( a few are still coming tho)..
 next time we will have alot more.

Next weekend is the baby shower and I cant wait. Its going to be so much fun.
I love just sitting back and watching the magic. You many wonder what I mean by that.. well the magic that a new baby gives 2 expecting parents and all the family and friends that are there to support and love those parents and their new baby.
Yep, this mama of 2 is going to try not to cry and look like a fool Saturday.
Wish me luck with that one.
On the way home Nick and I got into needed conversation we havnt had in a while about life.
What we expect out of our life together and the people in it with our children. I posted in an earlier post that Ive had some struggles with people during the last 2 years and alot during the surrogacy journey. Things I wanted to change and expectations I had for myself.
 Well, I started the process but it doesn't seem to be enough. There are still some weeding I need to do and I'm slowly getting to it all. People are still causing unneeded drama and stress and I cant have it anymore. What I do and what choices I make are mine alone to own. I cant and wont answer to anyone who has no place in any of those choices. Or hasn't been there. My Facebook friends list keeps getting smaller and smaller.. and that's okay. So has my "friends" off of Facebook. You know the ones that said they cared but really it was only when they needed something from you or when it was convenient for them. Thanks for making it easier for me since distancing myself wasnt enough.
 I know alot more then people think I do and Im glad Im seeing it now and not way later on. Thank you God for opening my eyes and bring peace to my life.
 Letting any of it really bring me down is silly and pointless
 so I'm going to leave it with my 29 week update!!! * smiles*
How far along: 29 weeks

Total weight gain: Ive gained a total of  1-2 lbs depending on the scale. Now I'm not sure if I have been exactly clear on my weight. From the IVF medication I gained a good amount of weight and as soon as the pregnancy took and the meds where weaned off I lost a bunch but not as much as a gained. I got really sick from the twins so for the first 10 weeks I didn't gain anything. A few weeks later when everything stabilized for the most part I gained a pound here and there bobbling around in a pound or two up and down. Now its just bouncing a pound up or a pound down. So for a base weight is hard to say. We are just happy that I'm holding at 2 lbs and baby is getting bigger every day so hes getting everything he needs.

Maternity clothes: Yes, Im finding that some of the first maternity clothes that I bought are starting to get a bit snug. Baby is growing so well I might end up growing out of some MATERNITY CLOTHES! How exciting is that!!?.

Stretch marks:Nothing new. A few of my old ones from the kids that faded to nothing are slightly coming back. That doesn't bother me at all...

Sleep: Ive been having weird dreams again. But these ones are over weird situations. Like my girlfriend came over and ate all my kids' cheese pizza (shes a vegetarian) and they started crying telling her to stop. She kept eating as fast as she could saying " but its so cheesy". lol.
Or dreams of summer... and how its never going come. Depressing I know right?!
Best moment of this week: This last week on one of the "warmer" days I re potted my indoor plants with fresh soil and food. Decorated the house with new artsy stuff. Put together more sensory station tubs, games and schedule. Got ready for the weekend (found my swimming suit and Doppler for Sam). Ive felt pretty good this week with mostly mild contractions other then Tuesday's school activities. Oh Oh and got my baby shower invite!!!
Schedule and some of the stations for the kids

Olivia and I being goofs at Claire's. its a mini me!

Re-did my living room area. Hand print frame pictures and my plants.
One of those projects you just sit and stare at after... Love!

Baby Kelly and his invite
Miss anything: Nothing really, Ive felt pretty decent after tuesday. Not too painful of contractions so Ive really enjoyed his movement and doing some light stuff around the house.

Movement: Tons of movement.. =D During our appointment today the tech said that the placenta is in the back and hes laying on top of it so that's why I can feel him so much more. And my belly button is getting tighter! I wonder if its going to POP?!?!

Food cravings: Root Beer is amazing! Raspberry Toast, Ice Cream Cones!!!

Anything making you queasy or sick: Cig smoke.. nasty!
Have you started to show yet: Silly question

Gender: Boy!! Confirmed once again today

Labor signs: Nothings changed

Belly button in or out: In but getting tighter

Wedding rings on or off: On

Happy or moody most of the time:
I think I'm happy most of the time. But I am getting more and more emotional and sensitive over things. The closer it gets to delivery day the more I think about my family and the family that's coming together with the little one kicking inside me as I type. The people Ive grown really close to. Through some hard times and the good this relationship is blooming into something I pictured and always wanted out of surrogacy but wasn't sure I would get.  
Looking forward to: Baby Shower!!!! And OB appointment on Friday!

Sunday, April 14, 2013

3rd Trimester.. Hospital.. Water Birth.. Oh my

Well this the last week has been an eventful one. Our Dr gave me those yellow strips to test my PH when I notice any "changes" since I leaked fluid with Thomas and with the contractions. Well that was last Monday and nothing happened until after my appointment Friday night. I had some wetness and sure enough I went to the bath room and used the strip... Dark blue. Oh crap.
(stays yellow normal.. dark blue blood or fluid). Called the Birthing unit they called our Dr and they told me I needed to come up and be checked. Nick was at his grandpas Visitation in Redwood falls and couldn't get home right away so I had to wait until he got home.

They did a test that's 99% accurate and that came back negative. The Nurse and on call Dr thinks I  might of had a small leak and that's what turned the 3 different strips blue. That when its a small pin hole leak that it heals over easily and the other test they did reassured that I haven't ruptured. Phew. My contractions ranged from 4 min apart to 12-15. Only a couple where back to back at 4 min so still irregular which it great.

They did the  fFN (Fetal Fibronectin) test at our appointment Friday morning and tested for Gestational Diabetes. Both came back negative. I have to say I'm really happy about the GD test. With him measuring bigger the last few appointments I was worried it could of been a possibility.

Today marked 28 weeks (3rd trimester) for us. I am really excited to even be at this point. hitting 28 weeks is like getting out of the first trimester. Less worries for complications if something where to happen. This little boy is super strong. I don't ever remember my kids being this active this earlie and never this strong where it hurts. Between my contractions and his kicking me my whole top part of my uterus is sore. Tender to the touch and movement will make me jump. And I take pain pretty well I think.. 2 previous pregnancy's and Thomas being all natural for over 25 hours before getting pain relief. These strong kicks and movement's are reassuring tho. I would rather be sore then have to guess if hes okay and feel for movement or make him move to be sure.

Ive been thinking about water birthing this time. Ive always wanted to but with my previous 1 I didn't have much of a choice or ability. This time I'm doing things differently. And I think it will be more Private then having my legs up in the air haha. Sam can be in the tub with me (can you tell We have talked about this haha). It will be more relaxing for me and more or a natural transition for the baby. The thought of all of this and more makes me alot less anxious about the BIG DAY. We really want a photographer there too to capture some of the moments together so a water birth makes me feel a little bit better about having someone else in the room. I'm pretty touchy about this so we will see. Ill have my camera and so will Sam so we will be able to take pictures along the way too.
No bottom pictures for this lady... I already have to bare all lol!

This next week its a busy one again. Kids have school, a bunch of appointments and this weekend we head off to the cities for our 4D ultrasound!! I cant wait.

The closer we get to our due date the more I think I'm going to miss this. Even with the complications the feeling I get knowing he's getting big and chunky and the smiles and giggles I get from Sam and Jack my heart fills up more and more. I'm so happy I did what my heart told me to even with those doubting me carrying for someone else.( thank for you caring tho) only God knows best... If it wasn't met to be the 2 transfers would not of held. I believe!