Sunday, March 31, 2013

Easter Sunday

We went to church this morning and I have to say it was the best service New Life has put on (Ive been there for about 11 years). The music the sermon they had a short video with clips from a movie like the passion then the girls dance team put on a dance playing amazing grace. It was so beautiful I cryed. Seeing some of the girls all grown up and worshiping our lord and savior.. tear jerker that's for sure.

Jackie is up from Rochester for easter so I thought how fun would it be to paint my belly. We got about half way and he was not into it. Between him moving us giggling it turned out a little different then what had in my head. It was fun lol

Friday, March 29, 2013

A little peace...

Had our OB appointment today. Sam and our Dr got to feel some of my lovely contractions  and we got to check to make sure I'm not dilating. Soft but still firm inside and finger tip. So good! Now we go in every 2 weeks and we will be getting retested for having higher chances of Earlie labor. We also will have our gestational diabetes test.... YUMM lol =S .  Sam said she wants to try the drink. Can't wait to see her face... (I'm mean huh lol)

We got to have a walk through the birthing center and ask some questions. It was nice to see everything with Sam and Jack instead of just describing it. The girls where with today so I got to spoil them a bit with some DQ ice cream. I get a kick out of their reactions and facial expressions

Lately I've been feeling very overwhelmed and lonely. Maybe its the hormones mixed with everything else going on but its really starting to bother me and on top of it all I'm getting snappy and defensive. I know I'm not alone in this but some days I feel that I am. People not caring or supportive. I really am appreciating my family that's for sure. even when I wasn't pleasant they loved me. And was there.

Take some good and some bad. One can't appreciate the good with out some bad.

I bought a dress this week too. I'll have to post pics when I'm all dressed up in it. Maybe when Sam takes our maternity pics. I so want both our family's pictures together. Hmmm ;)

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Stay Put Little Man

This little boy sure is bringing mommy daddy and I gray hairs and he isn't even here yet. For the last couple weeks Ive been having contractions but they haven't been regular or extremely painful. Yesterday they they where a bit stronger but where not very regular. After getting home from my trip I rested and felt alot better. This morning in the shower I had the worst contraction ever. It took my breath away and couldn't even talk. Rocking back and fourth until it went away. I want to say about 10 min or so. Got out and they kept coming so I laid down and took a 2.5 hour nap. I woke up a few times to them starting up again so stayed put. They tapered off so I got up and went about my day but still took it easy. Figuring it was nothing and I went off of what the Dr told me before so we went into town. Stopped to pick up some candles and ice cream. They started up again after only walking around for 30 min or so. When I could feel them being more regular this time. But, I was sore from the morning ones so it was harder to feel the lighter ones all the time unless I was touching my stomach or pressed against something and felt the tightening.
On top of it all my phone has been so screwy texts haven't been sending or I get more then one at a time from people. So I reset my phone and updated the towers. Messaged Sam and she text me.. my phone was working gain! FINALLY! UGH!
We decided after calling the OB unit and what not that I should go in to be checked. My contractions where 10 min apart and in one of them his heart rate dropped. They assured that because it was only once that it happened when I was there that it could be normal. There isn't alot of info on heart rates at 25 weeks gestation and it could happen more then they think. The contractions became irregular and not as strong so they sent me home with restrictions. REST REST REST. No stress ect. And if they pick up again or I have any discharge ect to come back in. Being so earlie its better safe then sorry and since Im having them this earlie we are watching it close. Little bugger.
His Heart is strong tho 135 to 142. Constantly moving. Him and I had a good talk and Im glad hes listening to me so far on staying put. =P
Did a UA also and every things normal No UTI ect. (I know some will ask that).

We go in on Friday for our check up. Unless something changes... Here's our weekly update...
How far along: 25 weeks
Total weight gain: 1 lb!
Maternity clothes: Oh yes.
Stretch marks:None
Sleep: Friday night was terrible last night slept really well. Its a hit and miss really

Best moment of this week: Got to sit on my bum and watch Chris Young in concert and spend time with 2 people that have been there when others haven't the last year. Xo love you guys. And I got to stop in at Nicks grandparents place. Its not the best moment by circumstances but Im happy I got to see his cousin and grandparents... His grandpa isn't well please pray for him and our family's.  
Miss anything: Not feeling broken and unable to do things

Movement: Tons of movement.. =D

Food cravings: Iced Tea, Raspberry/Butter Toast

Anything making you queasy or sick: SMOKE!!!
Have you started to show yet: Silly question

Gender: Boy!!

Labor signs: More contractions. Little poop

Belly button in or out: In

Wedding rings on or off: On

Happy or moody most of the time: sensitive. Cry baby

Looking forward to: Seeing Sam on Friday and seeing our Dr.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Anxious Thoughts....

25 weeks is less than 4 days away and I'm finding myself feeling anxious after my appointment today. Thoughts of going into labor and what could go wrong is resting on my mind more so then they have before.(usually positive positive thoughts *smiles*) but with finding out today that the baby is 3 weeks ahead in growth and also going through the '' if this happens or that you need to do this'' with the contractions and pains, its bringing it to a not so positive side of thinking. I know I'm surly over thinking it and its not helping my anxiety but its hard not to when so much has went on that we didn't expect. People don't think that issues will ever come up when their pregnancy's before where really issue free and all of a sudden it feels like so much in life is chaotic and going wrong
(and I'm talking about everything in general). I miss working, its becoming harder and harder to get stuff done on my own around the house or even lifting and caring for the kids. Which makes sense since I'm measuring bigger then how many weeks I am and the issues at hand. I wasn't this uncomfortable until later in my pregnancy's like 30 plus weeks. Its going to be alot easier when it starts to warm up. No bundling up the kids, No packing extra stuff, Moving snow. Just to be able to play outside with the kids instead of the constant entertaining with indoor activities or finding things to do around town (bundling lifting in and out of the truck ect).

Maybe I'm feeling like I'm failing at this pregnancy. I know that's pretty extreme but its the best way I can describe it. I still feel extremely uncomfortable with any compliments I'm given I think even more so now that my body isn't doing what I expect it to and it has done in the past...

I don't like the thought of alot of people around me/seeing me in labor. Its such an intimate private experience I'm doing my best to push those thoughts aside until I have to deal with it. And those who know me know I'm not a very shy person most of the time. But this is a whole different experience...


But still...I wouldn't change my choice. These are just hurdle's that I will over come with time. In the end I can say I achieved one of my goals in life. I guess you can say its something that's on my bucket list I want to do.
This next week I have to deal with some unpleasant people so please have my family and I in your prayers. Peace  Stress  Free  Prayers.
(I'm sure that's adding to the anxiety more so then it would be under normal circumstances)
I cant wait to be over with these situations and get my life back on track. Not being distracted and pulled away from people in my life that I want to spend time with and not be distracted or so exhausted that I cant give my all. I think that's enough rambling for tonight...

I need to shut my brain off. =S
*All teary eyed*

Wednesday, March 13, 2013


I had my appointment with the cardiologist this afternoon. We went over some tests and hes Okay with them so far. My BP was a bit low for me which made sense since I was having a dizzy spell right before walking into the room. Piece by piece things are SLOWLY coming together for information. As of now BETA BLOCKERS are too risky for me. The way my body reacted, we are going to hold off on them unless I start getting worse or if I end up passing out completely. I'm reassured that everything so far on the echo and EKG looks normal. The halter monitor is OK. If I pick up on the abnormal beats and such then we will look into what other options we have.

At 34 weeks (so 9 weeks from now) I will have another ECHO and a 24 hour halter monitor and if nothings changed then we will go ahead with a delivery in Alexandria and be watched by my Dr here. If there is any changes then we will be delivering at Abbot in the cities. No work and I need to take it easy. Small amounts of caffeine, rest, and limit any stress HA.

OK maybe not so HA with stress. That will soon be over with hopefully. I like my simple little life without the drama of my mothers sister and mother involved in it at all. Peaceful that's for sure.

On Monday it will be 2 years since I got the devastating call that my mother passed away. She was only 42 years old and her life ended way to soon. I have gotten peace over the last 2 years to some extent but with the drama with her sister and mother has brought back alot of old pain that I thought I was passed. I guess it shows that they are still living in the past and will if they continue their hateful behavior.The behavior that ended their relationship with my mom over a year prior to her death, And the behavior that still brings them guilt and pain.

I believe my mom would be proud of me in being a surrogate for Sam and Jack. I talked to her about it before and she only had concerns with me getting attached since I'm a lover and motherly. Other then that she said she could see me doing it. What I would give to have her be here with me. Please pray for my brother and sister in the next week. My brothers birthday is the 17th a day before we found out, so he will need lots of love and strength. And my sister. She was robbed with the ability get peace from those nasty people who did nothing but call her names and put her down after my mom died. Its never easy losing a parent but losing a mother and so young. My heart breaks for them. My brother was 17 and my sister was a month shy of 18. (Hugs I love you guys)

Well here's a new picture.

How far along: 23 weeks

Total weight gain: none

Maternity clothes: Oh yes.

Stretch marks:None

Sleep: Ive been having weird dreams again. And almost like nesting feelings with spring being around the corner.
Best moment of this week: Started our peppers and tomato plants for our garden. The kids and i sat at the table and played in the dirt. Thomas loved squishing the dirt down a little too much...

Miss anything: Nicks been working alot more hours so not many back rubs =(

Movement: Tons of movement.. =D

Food cravings: Iced Tea, Raspberry/Butter Toast

Anything making you queasy or sick: Comes and goes but Smelly dish cloths send me running
Have you started to show yet: Silly question

Gender: Boy!!

Labor signs: More contractions but nothing  close together

Belly button in or out: In

Wedding rings on or off: On

Happy or moody most of the time: What Spring??? I see no grass so Im not happy lol

Looking forward to: Seeing Sam Saturday for my Wrap Party

Friday, March 8, 2013

Better late then never

Ive been so terrible on blogging with new updates and weeks.
Its hard to find the time and when nothing much changes there isn't much to blog about.

I see the cardiologist next week here in Alexandria. I'm curious to see what hes going to say. I find it hard to eat and after I eat I don't feel hungry for a long time or I'm just exhausted, so the last few days Ive been snacking alot and trying to push that feeling aside to see if anything changes with how I feel and nothing. So theres something I can add to the appointment. Might have nothing to do with anything he would care about but I just am covering all that I can do myself that might give us some answers. I do notice that differences in temperatures make my heart increase and spazz out a little.

Still no weight gain but baby is doing great. Hes moving and growing like crazy. Ive been loving anything and everything in small portions. My weakness that's not that healthy are those sour cream and onion egg shaped chips. I cant remember the name ( baby brain) for the life of me I just buy them lol. And Ive been loving strawberries with cream cheese dip stuff. And lots of milk!

I have been having contractions off and on. Nothing that's concerning right now since they arnt constant or increasing. Mostly Brax. Hicks that arnt painful. So we are happy with that.

22 weeks

Nicks birthday weekend last weekend was a ton of fun. Went to Dave and Busters, Bubba Gump Shrimp Co, (MOA) Insert Coins and the Art Museum. We had to leave the museum without seeing everything due to contractions but I took it really slow and it wasn't too bad. A much needed weekend away that's for sure. I have an appointment next week with the orthodontist to see if I should get braces again since my teeth have shifted. I'm afraid of the cost involved but I'm tired of hurting and feeling self conscious. Nothing like feeling 15 again =S