Friday, October 26, 2012

From the bottom of my heart 2

The last 2 weeks of my life has been nothing but CHAOS. I had to say goodbye to a man I looked at as my dad. A man that raised me and took care of me and was there when I needed him the most.. or just to talk. My papa fell from a ladder Friday late afternoon trying to paint his house. He had sever brain damage and was flown to St Cloud Hospital and was on life support. On Saturday we got the worst news that there was nothing that could be done. After surgery to take out to blood clot and relieve the pressure there was too much damage. At 725pm I said Goodbye to the most important man in my life. He was my dad. .

The transfer landed on the Day of the wake and the funeral was the next day. There was no working around it. I got up earlie and got ready to go to Fargo Thurday morning. Did the routine of no smelly shampoos clothes ect.
Nick went with me this time and my mother in law watched the kids. It was different this time but in a good way. We knew what to expect with everything but we changed so much that it was different as well.
Nick Making me giggle as usual

 Sam and I

Into my pelvis

It wasn't too bad... the worst one was the "mother one" in my right leg. That one stung a bit but soooo worth it.They had to flick the needle before during and after.

I am who I am

Love 2
 I must say my face says it all. Prepping me for the embryos.



After the transfer I came home and get ready for the wake. Sam came down and we spent the 2 days I was on bed rest together. It was so challenging going through the wake and funeral but knowing I had to hold myself together for these 2 little ones I must say it really did help me keep level headed. With the help of my amazing family and friends I was able to do this in a way I was able to still get peace and was able to grieve. . When we where at the hospital I was able to let it all out without the worrie of the babies. God had this happen for a reason....

I cant put into words how much I love and appreciate everyone that has been here for me the last 2 years. One with my mother passing away a year and 7 months ago and now papa. The support love and acceptance. The way my uncle wouldn't let me carry even the lightest bag. My MeeMaw (grandma Karla) willing to bring the wheel chair. Sam spending time with me and my family through the good and bad. My sister and brother being there when living an hour to 4 hours away. To friends that came to the funeral and the wake. That touched my heart to deeply it brings me to tears right now.
A family friend and pastor coming to the hospital in the middle of the night to be with us after he got hurt... Not letting us be alone in our pain... People who stopped by brought goodies. Helped with making food for the funeral and helping with my kids and Zoe. The Brandon Fire Department who offered to finish painting his house so Karla and Zoe don't have to worry.  God I thank each and every one of you to the bottom of my heart and back. There are so many amazing beautiful people around me and I am so blessed. God broke my heart by taking my papa (dad) but he mended it with the love and compassion of all the people in my life that care. I truly believe they where placed in my life for these very reasons. I could go on and on about all these amazing people but even then I couldn't describe the love I have.

Now we wait for the blood results next week <3 Please pray for high numbers

Love you <3

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