13 weeks~2nd trimester

Up until now Ive mostly blogged about appointments, life situations, medications ect. I was sitting here thinking of what I really wanted to get out of this blog. Yes, I think that education on IVF infertility and this journey all together is not only interesting to others but to those struggling themselves with infertility and this blog I hope gives them HOPE to not give up.

I also wanted to start putting down my feelings cravings thoughts ect along this journey so this little man can look back and know how much he was loved by not only his wonderful parents and family. But extended ones that wanted him here and stood strong, not giving up when it seemed like that was the only option. That not only can he look back but the family can as well...

I wanted to know story's of when my mom was pregnant. What she craved what she felt ect. What music she listened to  Places she went and all the firsts. Sam wishes she could experience all of these and I find it important she does experience as much as she can. I don't want her to miss out on one thing or not remember a date when something happened. I pray one day his wife doesn't have anything happen to her where she cant carry a child but if that is Gods plan he can say "this is what my family did". Yes, Im thinking WAY far into the future but guess what... this is a FUTURE they never thought they would have... to me this is important and what Nick and I did with our little ones. Talked and dreamed...

Today marks 13 weeks.....

 Today for breakfast I had some Honey Hut Cheerios and Juice. Ramen for lunch because pizza sounded gross and greasy. A whole Grape Fruit (Diff. my craving for the last 2 weeks) and Ice water.

Things I love...
Grape Fruit
OJ
Yogurt
Cheese
All canned veggies cold or cooked... Soooo YUMMY!!!
SALAD!!

Things I dislike....
Chicken Kiev
more then a couple bites of cake
bacon bits

Ive been listening to The Civil Wars alot lately and alot of Country music and 80's music.

The last week Ive felt little man here and there but always when Im laying on my back and really still. At first I wasn't sure if it was him or gas (Love pregnancy haha) or maybe I was hungry.. but the longer it happened and how often I knew it wasn't that. Once you have a child let alone more then one, once you feel the baby move you never forget that feeling. Its like a 6th sense when It comes to your body.

Just like knowing the sex of the baby. Ive never been wrong and feeling out the gender in my own pregnancy or anyone else's I've ever "guessed". Sam and I talked when I first got pregnant and I told her it was a boy and a girl. Now that the other baby passed away I am now 100% sure that was a little girl. And the first pregnancy was girl (s) too. With girls I break out with acne. I get a rash all over my body and the worst spot is the chest. I feel so  much more with girls then I do boys. Boys are so calm I almost forget I am pregnant. Im hardly ever sick just tired.

Tomorrow is New Years Eve... I cant believe it... This last year marked many losses in my family but the biggest was my papa... In a way Im afraid to leave this year behind me because its the last year he was with me.... after this its different. its like Im closing a chapter in my life and Im not ready for it to close. It still doesn't seem real....

This last year also marks many blessings and positive things. We bought our first house in March. I started working at Knute the end of December 2011/January 2012. Bought a car that I really liked and not just put up with. Found Sam and Jack and started the process that changed my life forever... an accomplishment that I thought I would never be able to feel. To help fill the whole that I once felt myself...

Holy blog rant... well Im off to go take a lovely nap *smiles*